Moving in. It’s one step further than I love you and one step below putting a ring on it. With the three of us being in our mid-20s the whole moving in conversation seems to come up way more often than not. During a conversation with Pa’Reesha, I realized my views on moving in with my boyfriend are beginning to move away from the ideas I was raised with.
With that being said, the three of us are going to weigh in on the Big Move. We’ll let you know our overall thoughts on moving in, when we believe is the right time to move in, and anything else that comes to mind regarding this topic.
We’re always curious to know what you think, so slide into those comments and share your thoughts.
Pa’Reesha here, just want to start this off by saying I feel SO conflicted about this topic. Like many other topics, I’m always torn between my traditional Christian upbringing and the things that have become normalized in today’s society. While bae leans more to the traditional side like myself, he’s definitely made it clear that before he is to marry someone he needs to live with them. To kind of test the waters I guess. For me I’m like “ahh nah, I ain’t with it” BUT as time has gone on and our relationship has blossomed I feel my original feelings toward the matter have evolved as our relationship has.
Now, I’m not one for the whole shacking up situation (that’s just not me but I don’t knock anyone else for how they live, do you boo boo) but with this whole adulting thing and cost of living being as high as it is it just makes sense both logically and economically to move in together…at some point, not now. Especially if we’re constantly at each other’s houses, eating each other’s food and leaving things at each other’s places. I mean why are we both paying hella money in rent and utilities when those costs could be shared amongst the two of us? With all that being said…
I would definitely need a ring or some form of higher commitment to be at peace with myself for moving in with my significant other.
Noelle. The other day I was at lunch with my mom who is frequent church goer. Not only does she do Christian meditation, but she also participates in Bible study and assists with church baptisms. I wouldn’t be surprised if Jesus has her name pending approval in His Book of Saints. Anyway, at lunch the topic of living with your partner came up and my mom blatantly made her disapproval of “people moving in before getting married and before buying a house” extremely clear. Now, you’d think that would lead me to run home, douse myself in holy water, say 3 Hail Mary’s and pray I live with my roommate until jumping the broom but it didn’t.
My deciding factor for moving in with my boyfriend is based primarily on finances.
I live in Los Angeles and on average, the rent for a one bedroom is about $2,305 and $3,014 for a two bedroom. After research and calculation, I would be able to live in a pretty nice one bedroom apartment and split the rent with my boyfriend cheaper than if I was splitting a two bedroom with a roommate. Since the thought of being broke pretty much gives me hives, making smart financial decisions is extremely important to me. Therefore, if it means I’m saving money then I’m all for moving in with my man. Oh, and the sharing a space, taking further steps in our relationship, and hugging up on him everyday thing is great too.
Carmen. Its definitely a more common occurrence for couples to live together now than it used to be. Now, I don’t knock any couples for moving in together because sometimes it does kind of solidify that next step in the relationship; especially if you know that deep down in your heart that is who you are supposed to spend the rest of your life with. I feel like as long as you both have a solid understanding and foundation before moving in together, even if there isn’t ring in the picture yet, then it’s definitely possible that it will work out in your favor.
Personally, I think I’d either have to be married or far along in the wedding planning process for me to move in with my significant other.
As a single, young women currently in the process of moving out on her own, I couldn’t imagine going through this with anyone other than my future hubby. Some of these decisions and changes I’m having to make regarding my checking and savings take “adulting” to the next level (but that’s another post for another day). I’m not just looking at it just as having my own space to retreat when I need some me time or if we have a falling out; but also, there are a lot of things that come into play when signing a lease or mortgage, such as saving, credit checks and paying the bills. That’s why I think moving in together is just as big as a commitment as marriage in some aspects. You’re not only trusting yourself, but you’re also putting a huge amount of trust in your partner. Bottom line is, I need to be sure that me and my significant other are on the same page regarding our futures together. In my eyes, moving in together signifies we have committed to building and living a life together. Soooooo until future hubby decides to put a ring on it, we’ll be chilling in our own spots with unlimited visitation privileges!
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